Letting Go
by OzoraWings
Summary: He always knew he was going to have to let go sooner or later, because she was never his and their relationship was never real but that didn't mean - that the idiot he was - didn't dare to hope. And sometimes... sometimes betrayal cuts deepest when you see it coming.


**Code:** N-LG-CH.01

**Medium: **Naruto

**Title:** Letting Go

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _any_ of the featured media, all rights go to their respected owners

**Chapter: **1. _Sooner or Later_

**Rating:** 'T' - for the future and because I'm paranoid.

Rain.

It was raining.

Cold, wet raindrops were running down damp and numb skin. It was heavy; the heavens letting it all pour down in her disapproval. It hurt. It pelted against him much like the wind would howl at a mountain; but it would not move him. It could not. Even when the feeling was lost in his fingers and toes and his long blond tresses stuck to his forehead and chin, much like his clothes as the usually moveable material was weighted down with the liquid, from the clouds which clung to him he did not move.

It clung to him like a cloak of misery as his jaw was so clenched that his teeth felt like they were going to shatter, his slender but trained muscles taut and tense; knots winding themselves around each other that kept him painfully still and in place on the outside curb of a darkened and quiet street, the moon and streetlights illuminating his pale skin hauntingly; it made him look sick, as sick as he felt as his stomach jolted and churned, nausea there but not registered.

He had been there for awhile. A long while; he couldn't recall when he had wandered out and found himself unable to go on, but he was here now and here he would stay; he wasn't strong enough to move himself, his joints had locked and his board shoulders (that were often viewed as carrying far too much), were slumped in defeat that made even contemplating getting up an impossible feat.

It was strange in a way; he was known for being able to get back up; his opponents unable to keep him down and yet, here he was. Down and for all intensive purposes, out. Oh how some of his enemies would laugh if they saw him - "_Wheres all that strength now_, 'Hokage'?.!"

Brought to his knees by the woman he loves - loved and kept there by his emotions he was often praised for. Why he would never know; he has shown more weakness over the years because of his tendencies then any other in his field and yet... and yet his friends, his family - the people that Kami-Knows-Why stood by him for all this time, had never complained, had put up with his shorter then short temper, his mouth and cheek, 'annoying' attitude and general slowness.

Oh he knew his weaknesses, knew them all too well but he couldn't bring himself to change; he had been that way for so long... had lasted that way for so long that he had forgotten what needed to be improved and instead bettered himself with his ninjutsu, the one thing out of _everything_ that everyone had a problem with, _he _could in turn concede to.

Though better he had gotten - much better, he still had weaknesses and still made mistakes. And in the rain - that glorious rain that used to wash away his blood from his wounds from Once-Upon-A-Time petty fights, and later, battle fields and someone make it just that little bit better, he wondered (not for the first time and certainly not for the last) if he had done the right thing.

Because he knew - he knew from the start that she was never his. Never. Not once. Thinking such would be a lie and lies to oneself, he had learned, were the most dangerous. No, he had understood that, had felt that in his bones and how it ached it his heart.

He knew.

He understood.

And know he was paying the consequences of being too much like his bash, emotional mother and not like his calm, intelligent father. Don't get him wrong, he loved both of them dearly; they had died for him - all the while_ loving _him and although he had grown into himself over the years, he just wished he hadn't ignored common sense and instinct.

Of course logic wasn't usually associated with him anyway but he still liked to think he had a somewhat working brain, whether or not he used it... that was still up for debate. Although he never entertained the thought, or acknowledged for that matter, what he came home to after a fairly normal office day didn't surprise him as much as it should have; in someways he felt so much worse for unconsciously _expecting_ it that he held himself in fault too.

It was just so stupid; he should never have entered the bedroom. All the signs were there - had been there for weeks after_ he _had finallycome back. Heck they had been there_ years _before any of this; the sly glances, the odd conversations and uncomfortable silences, the lingering touches and the noticeable companionship that was far more than simple 'we are teammates' - it was deeper than that.

He had still opened the door though, even with the torn clothes scattered down the hallway and the wanton moans that echoed throughout the house he had brought a few years before his...promotion. He remembered his heart beating it's way out of his chest and the dread pooling in his stomach as he walked silently down to the location he knew that they were would be in.

His hand grasping the cold, uncaring door-hand (because he had been living in apartments for too long to truly care about traditional and this house was spacious without being empty and near where they worked) and turned it.

They were both on the bed, silk sheets that she had insisted on ruffled and tangled between their shine covered, joined bodies. The male - his brother in all but blood looming over her, elbows on either side of her head and her's under his, her back arched off of the mattress and obviously seeing stars if her blissful expression was to go by (his mirroring hers, only with more restraint. Brownie points to her for finally breaking through that mask of his and getting more than a small smile).

He had stood frozen under the door, frozen to the spot as he watched as they finally noticed him and it didn't take them long either, they weren't his best nin for nothing. Their faces had relayed their shock and alarm before it had morphed into guilt and shame. For being caught with their trousers down - literally or because of true regret for going behind his back, he didn't want to know.

'_N-Naruto'_ she had gasped, jolting upwards quickly, arm going to cover her chest to retain some modesty (though he had seen it all before, he half wonders why she bothered).

'_Naru'_ his friend, his brother in all but blood, the Missing Nin he had done everything to get back to the Leaf in one piece, said in a similar manner as he jerkingly got some duvet to hide behind, skin going even paler than usual as he looked into hurt cerulean eyes as he used that nickname that had come about one day by accident.

Licking his lips, Naruto took but a moment to make a decision, a moment so fast that neither of the couple could react '_Ah_' he stated numbly, trying to blink himself out of his daze '_Sorry._' and a part of him had screamed as to why _he_ was the one apologising - that same part demanding his break some teeth and yell and scream '_I'll come back...later'_

Naruto turned, walking away while ignoring their shouts for him - their protests, even as they hurried to put their clothes on and scramble after him, he merely left (he wasn't the son of the Yellow Blur for nothing), suddenly feeling exhausted and older than perhaps he should.

That was when the heavens opened but it wasn't as comforting this time and he barely recognised getting soaked through or when he had stopped walking around his village aimless and dropped onto a corner that would make Shikamura and even Neji after his head if they found out the security breach and 'danger' he was putting himself in without his guards even when enemy nin had been ordered to flee on sight of seeing him (he laughed once that must be scarier than he thought).He truly didn't care at the moment though, because he had set himself out for this ridiculous fall - he had made this heartache possible and it was his fault for pursuing her in the first place. He shouldn't of - he should have graciously bowed out and let them be with each other.

Instead this happened and it still hurt - it still pained him and made him fell even more shame for the situation to start with.

Because he he understood.

Because she was never his.

Because he knew that he would have to let go sooner or later -

'Naruto!' said blond snapped to his name; he knew that voice and his eyes quickly searched as he desperately looked for the person who had spoken in such alarm. The man was running towards him and unknown to him and the state he looked, his face became to quiver; lip trembling and eyes watering.

And suddenly there was a weight on his chest as the man encompassed him into a hug. It was warm and foreign hands slid up and down his back to his head (looking for injuries, not like he really noticed) before they settled 'Naruto?' that same voice asked gently, as if he would break.

Maybe he would; Naruto wasn't to sure he wouldn't as he buried his face into the crock of the man's neck, breathing in the comforting scent and loving the heat that tingled against his check as he did so; not realising how cold he was.

'Iruka-sensei' Naruto sobbed like child would to his father as he clinged, uncaring that he would undoubtedly regret not being more together when he finally snapped out of it, uncaring that this would worry his old teacher because at the moment this was all he could do and Iruka was giving him an anchor.

'N-Naruto?' Iruka asked, obvious to anyone who would have heard sans Naruto that he was deeply unsettled as he looked at his leader in worry 'Naruto whats the matter?' because no matter the situations he thought of; an attack on the village; an assault to Naruto's own person; something to do with Naruto's Minions ... nothing should cause such an emotion outburst like this one... nothing...

And as another sob racked through Naruto's Iruka started to rub hesitant circles in the curve in his back; Iruka had never had to deal with such an emotional Naruto before... never, though there was a few tears when he finally apologised and when his Godfather had died... but nothing so big before and Iruka wasn't even sure how much he was helping and how much he was causing because surely comfort he was giving now would be seen as nothing but a weakness later.

But Iruka still did his best as he started to rock back and forth, tucking Naruto's head under his chin as he looked up to the dark, crying sky and started to hush at the sobs, feeling more sensitively his charge's warn tears than the cold, hard rain.

When he was finished he would help Naruto back to house to sleep whatever this was before going for a bit of a midnight stroll... and if that happened to lead back to Naruto's place to tell Sakura where her boyfriend was, well it happened.

However even with that plan working through his head as he grit his teeth and tried to settle Naruto as best he could he wouldn't be prepared for what he was about to learn in the next twenty minutes.

**A/N (26.05.13) - **

Well here's my first Naruto fanfiction, not all that sure how I did; I think it might be a little dabble-ly but this was something I've had spinning in my head for a good while so I thought I might as well try my hand at it - that's really all that this is, a try so I hope it's not too disappointing because this is probably one out of three other stories I've thought of...not mention the two requests I've had.

Who knows, maybe it's a fandom I'll get better at, though that would also require writing better too...

So, the pairing as you might have guessed my the characters I've selected (or will select) for my story info is Naruto**X**Hinata, the reason? I really love her character, she reminds me - or her place in the story reminds me of Haru from Reborn! simply because she's the girl whose giving her best for the boy she loves only he doesn't notice and I love people who try their best!

I was planning, when I first started to type this chapter that Hinata would be the one to find him but Iruka came out from my fingers instead and I think that's better; I always respond more with my mum than I would a friend and to those who think Naruto's breakdown is too much? (I do realise that even while emotional he quickly wipes the tears away) Once given comfort and a loving hand I've always found it very hard to keep together during, that's my reasoning; I'm not changing it besides they were bound to come out sooner of later.

**Tumblr: **ozorawings

**-And I feel deep, you let me down; but that was then and this is now. Now look at me! This is a part of me that your never gonna take away from me! - **

I** Apologise **if there are any mistakes in my spelling/ grammar, or if you find anything I have written offensive.

**Thank you** to everyone who added _'Letting Go'_ to their favorites/ alerts or who took the time to review. You also have my gratitude for reading.

**OW**


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